I Got You
by Nittles
Summary: Sequel to "Just Another Day." Harry plans to do something about his relationship with Ruth.
1. Chapter One

**Spooks is owned by BBC/Kudos**

Harry had arrived back on the grid a little later than usual, a meeting with the JIC overran and he was then caught in some horrendous traffic. Entering through the pods, he instantly felt something wasn't right. Was it the fact that it was completely silent or the fact that there was no luminous light lamp shining from Ruth's desk? Either way, he knew he was completely alone, and rather selfishly felt relieved at not having to spend any more time with Ruth. Things had been both tense and awkward since she had returned, and neither of them knew what to say to each other anymore.

Walking briskly to his office, he pulled open the door and dumped some unnecessary files onto his desk. They can wait until tomorrow. Grabbing his coat from behind his chair, he was about to make a swift exit before he noticed the envelope propped up against the keyboard, his name written on the front in a very familiar scrawl.

Slumping down in his chair, he turned his desk lamp on before grabbing the envelope and tearing it open. He didn't unfold the paper at first. He wanted nothing more than delay the inevitable until he saw her tomorrow, then he could try his upmost to get her to stay. This was her resignation letter and he knew it. He had made her life so unbearable since she returned, she clearly wanted nothing more than to rid of him for good and find something tangible and solid to hold on to. Simplicity and elegance.

Curiosity got the better of him, and sighing loudly, he slowly unfolded the note until a full page of her beautiful handwriting came into view. _Ok, so this is definitely not a resignation letter_, he thought, his features softening as he finally allowed himself to relax and continue to read.

Once he had read the letter, he sat on his chair for what seemed like hours, eyes closed, revelling in the emotion that her words that triggered. It wasn't like him to get emotional over relationships, he'd been in too many, and torn them all apart one way or another. But Ruth was different, and the more he got around to telling himself that, the more he got around to actually believing it.

Standing up, he placed the letter carefully in his back pocket before summoning the courage to do what he was planning to do quite a while ago and actually go home. Turning off his desk lamp and grabbing his coat for the second time, he rushed out of his office, turning the lights off as he went and bundled through the pods. He was going to do something about this. She would be expecting him too. But it'd have to wait until after work tomorrow. For now, he had planning to do.

**Please review! More will come. I feel quite mean actually, not writing about Harry's feelings here in more depth, but they will be revealed, I promise!**


	2. Chapter Two

"Ruth."

She jumped slightly as she felt his warm breath wash over the back of her neck.

"H-Harry?"

"A letter was left on my desk last night. I just wanted you to know I am glad it's not your resignation."

The words had been spoken softly, but he knew from the change in her posture and the way she was now wringing her hands together that it had been the wrong thing to say.

Ruth was still trying to figure out if there was an underlying compliment in what he had just said. He was glad it wasn't her bloody resignation. So professional, so impersonal. She didn't know whether to laugh or cry at his bluntness.

"You're glad that it wasn't my resignation?" She eventually choked. She couldn't think of anything else.

"Yes."

He may not have seen Ruth for a while, but he knew her well enough to know she was not happy with him.

"Harry I..."

"Ruth," Harry interrupted, desperate to get himself back on steady ground. "I have to rush off for a meeting, I'm late already." Harry looked at his watch before turning back to face Ruth, who had sat with her back to him for the entire duration of the conversation. "We'll continue this later on. There are some files for you to be getting on with yes?"

She nodded slowly and watched in part confusion, part frustration as he stalked off in the direction of pods, and entered them, disappearing from view as he emerged the other side.

Some time later, paperwork completed and desk tidied, Ruth glanced at her desk clock and realised, quite seriously, that she would have to run like her life depended on it in order to catch the last bus. As she ran out of the building as fast as her bulging bag would let her, she saw the bus turn the corner and approach her stop. Having made it just in time, she flung her arm out to signal the bus to stop, bundling her way on and rummaging through her bag until she found her oyster card.

Whilst allowing herself to catch her breath, she pulled her phone out of her bag and glanced at the screen.

_1 new message._

Intrigued, she clicked it to open and felt her heartbeat begin to quicken when she realised who the sender was.

_Ruth, sorry I didn't handle earlier too well. I'm not very good at overcoming professional barriers. You should yourself I'm a limited man. Get home safely, I hope to see you tomorrow. Sweet dreams, H x_

She smiled to herself and thrust the phone back into her bag. She couldn't wait for tomorrow to arrive.

* * *

His hand slammed down on the arm clock and the annoying ringing came to an abrupt stop. He sighed loudly and rolled over on his side to check the time. _5:30. _Sometimes he bloody hated his job.

He sat up and flicked on the bed side lamp. Finding his phone, he allowed his eyes to focus on the bright screen before trying to figure out if anybody had left him any messages. No one. Not one message. Part of him was selfish enough to think that Ruth might have replied to his text, no matter how cold he had been with her. Reasoning with himself, he figured he had more or less done everything wrong at every possible turn during their brief encounter the day before. She'd come back after the death of her husband and after losing her step son. She had taken the first step in restoring their relationship, by opening up to him as best as she could. And all he could do was compliment her for not resigning. Bloody idiot.

Manoeuvring himself out of bed he made himself a promise. By the end of the evening, he would have spoken to Ruth, put his own mind at rest and moved past it. But for now, he had to get ready for the day ahead.

**Please review! More to come! Harry's still being very limited with feelings - who knows what he's going to do? :P**


	3. Chapter Three

**A/N: The letter that is being referred to in this fic is in the prequel "Just Another Day." That one is worth a read if you want to understand this fully!! **

As usual, Harry was the first person to arrive on the grid that morning. It was still early, so he took the time to make himself a cup of coffee and ponder on the day ahead before any of his junior staff arrived to start their day. He sat behind his desk staring out at the world past his glass wall. This was where people fought terrorism, this was where the difficult decisions were made yet this was here he had allowed love to blossom, something he had sworn never to do after his messy divorce. He had allowed this beautiful, unconventional love to blossom and he'd done nothing about it. Nothing to the point that by the time he could recognise the signs he had been trying so hard to ignore, it was too late and she was on her way to a new country, a new life, a new man. Part of him still couldn't quite believe she was back, let alone the fact she was rekindling her feelings for him.

* * *

The moment Ruth awoke she jumped straight out of bed. It was an act that was perfected by every security service member. The ability to hear an alarm and react in split seconds. It wasn't always the safest way, especially if shoes or other domestic items had been left perched at the side in haste to remove them, but nevertheless it worked well, and it was a skill to be admired.

As she showered and changed, she tried to think of a time when she had been as excited. It was with some remorse that she realised it was probably the one and only date Harry had ever asked her out on. Something so perfect she hadn't allowed herself to believe he had actually said it until he had arrived at her doorstep enquiring whether she was ready to go. Sometimes she still had to pinch herself to convince herself it wasn't actually a dream and it had actually happened.

She couldn't wait a moment longer. What she couldn't wait for, she was yet to find out, but knowing Harry wasn't happy with what he had said yesterday possibly meant that there was something positive and tangible for her to grasp to today. Something she could look back on and finally smile at the fact that the unsaid was no longer a thing of a past and they had finally stopped hiding behind brick walls. She'd just have to wait.

* * *

Harry watched in mild amusement as Ruth fought with her handbag as she tried to get through the pods. It was something only Ruth could get away with; anybody else would be branded a fat oaf and constantly teased to no avail. As Ruth finally freed herself and stood on the grid she braved a quick glance in the direction of Harry's office, only to find him staring intently at her, a small smile creeping across his features when he realised he'd been caught. Smiling back, Ruth wandered over to her station before placing her bag under her desk and making her way back towards Harry's office.

He knew exactly by the knock who it was coming to visit.

"Ruth," he smiled as he watched her peer shyly around his door, silently seeking permission to enter. "It's ok Ruth, you can come in. I don't bite," he teased gently, allowing himself the luxury to watch her blush. _See Pearce, you're playing it much better this time. Keep her on side._

Ruth hastily entered and closed the door firmly behind her. Sitting cautiously on Harry's sofa, she wringed her hands together nervously. She had been looking forward to this moment ever since he had text her, truth be told she still was, but the overbearing reality of it all got the better of her and in Harry's eyes it looked like she wanted to be anywhere but there.

"Was there anything in particular you wanted Ruth or you just popping by for a chat?" Harry rose up from his chair and walked to where Ruth was sitting before leaning over her and pulling the blinds closed so they were separated and sealed off from the rest of the grid. Her breath hitched slightly as she felt him sit down beside her.

"Your text," she eventually muttered. What was it about this man that made her speechless?

Harry sighed loudly and tilted his head to one side.

"I'm surprised you didn't write a report analysing what I meant," he chuckled slightly before sensing her discomfort and getting back to the matter.

"I didn't handle yesterday too well Ruth," Harry started, coughing slightly before gently ushering her to look at him. "I didn't want you to think that I was simply going to brush off and forget what you had written to me."

"I don't want you to do anything if you could get in trouble for it Harry," Ruth protested, desperately trying to save face. She didn't want him to know just yet that this meant everything to her. "I just wanted you to know, I thought maybe it would clear the air and ease some of the tension."

"And it did exactly that Ruth," Harry said softly. "When I said I was glad it wasn't your resignation letter I meant it. OK, in light of the contents of the letter my remark was wholly inadequate but it was true." A pause. "In all seriousness when I first saw the letter I was petrified. I know your writing as though it's a creation from my own hand. The thought of you leaving again really put things into perspective for me."

He laughed slightly as he saw Ruth begin to relax. It encouraged him to continue.

"I just turn into a blabbering idiot whenever I try to talk casually with you, hence why yesterday didn't go down too well when I tried to bring it up."

Ruth laughed and smiled sweetly at Harry.

"So, you liked it?"

**Please review! More to come soon!**


	4. Chapter Four

Harry chuckled slightly before hesitantly taking hold of her hands.

"I did," was all he could say. He watched their fingers entwine before diverting his gaze back to her face.

Ruth watched Harry struggle with his emotions. It was funny how different they were, yet how so similar. She could see he wanted to say the right things, but knew the signs well enough to know he was shutting down on her.

"Harry," she coaxed gently, desperate for him to see he isn't the only person finding this hard. "Harry, what's wrong?"

He held her gaze and for the first time she was really able to study his appearance. The lines on his face were considerably deeper, his hair noticeably thinning around the edges and the wrinkles, especially around the eyes, were more defined. He looked like he'd spent one too many years within the service, and her heart ached for him.

"I don't want to make you any promises I'm not sure I'll be able to keep Ruth." A pause. "You deserve more than empty words and promises, especially from somebody like me."

Her eyes searched his, silently begging him to continue. Her hands, still firmly locked with his, begged to differ as they shook uncontrollably.

"You have to understand I would love nothing more than to sit here and whisper sweet nothing's in your ear and tell you everything going's to be ok, but you know as well as I do that life here doesn't always work in our favour."

She nodded slowly, unsure of where he was going with this. She could practically feel her heart breaking.

"Behind this life, behind the confines of the grid I am nobody Ruth. I'm nothing. Harry ceases to exist. I'm a making of the service and I don't know what else to be. This job is all I'm good at. I'm not a normal man, I don't lead a normal life and I don't do normal things. I need to be realistic here Ruth, I can't open up to you without including the possibilities of being able to experience all of those normal day to day things with you. I don't want to give you false hope Ruth, I've told you before I'm a limited man and you deserve so much better than that."

Ruth watched as he bowed his head. Was it shame? Was it grief? Was it relief he'd finally got the worst of it off his chest? Whatever it was, the atmosphere had changed entirely and as much as she tried to pull away from him to end the conversation Harry held on to her hands tighter encouraging her to stay put, telling her without words he hadn't finished and he needed her to listen, to understand.

"Uh, uh," Harry murmured teasingly, shaking his head for extra emphasis. "You can't run away from me that easily Ruth. There's still more for you to interpret and analyse."

Ruth drew a shaky breath and forced herself to smile. He was nervous. The the playful tone, however brief, gave her hope. She just had to be patient.

"Despite my failings as a normal human being I still have feelings. You see, Ruth..." He drew a deep breath and paused slightly, frantically trying to figure out how to articulate what he so desperately needed her to know. "I haven't looked at anybody else since I developed feelings for you."

Noting the look of disbelief Ruth was sporting he felt it was necessary to reassure her.

"Ruth, don't look at me like that. You know it's true. As you said yourself in the letter, you got to see sides of me nobody else has. That to me proved that I felt enough for you to subconsciously let my guard down. I've never done that for anybody else Ruth, _anybody_. Not even Jane can claim that much and we were married for ten years."

Ruth gave Harry's hands a gentle squeeze and smiled at him. He didn't know how she did it, but she made him feel like nobody else ever had. A simple touch, a simple smile and he felt like he could beat any terrorist organisation. Irrational, but comforting.

"When I found out you were with somebody else Ruth, it hurt me more than any gunshot, knife wound or torture scheme I had been subject to. The thing is; you deserved to be happy. And I know that he made you happier than I daresay I can ever make you, and even though I love you more than anything, I worry about opening up, talking about the positives with you and lowering my guard. I'm not him Ruth, and truth be told that scares me to hell."

Ruth sat motionless, which Harry interpreted as a bad sign. In actual fact Ruth's mind was reeling. She'd stopped concentrating on anything he had been saying the moment he said he loved her more than anything. It was almost as if she'd died and gone to heaven.

"Ruth?" Harry tried his hardest to read her face. She had a better poker face than he gave her credit for, and it was driving him crazy.

"You love me?" It was the only thing Ruth was capable of saying.

"What?"

"You said you loved me,"

"Yes I did." Hoping it hadn't been the right thing to say he carried on hastily. "If I've said the wrong things then Ruth then ju..."

"Say it again."

"Say what again?" This conversation was getting more and more bizarre as the seconds ticked by.

"You know what."

Ruth was beaming at this point and there was no way he could deny her what she so wanted to hear. She no longer cared about his worries and insecurities. He was about to say the three words she had waited five years to hear him say. Harry stared at her to make sure he had heard her correctly. He knew Ruth had changed drastically since returning; more confident, more assured, less naive. He loved it, he loved her and he loved the way she was so eager to hear him say it again.

**A/N: To be continued or not to be continued?  
Although it can work as a plausable ending, I know that a lot of people will want to see Harry openly tell Ruth of his feelings for her, rather than his insecurities keeping him at bay! Let me know what you think!**


	5. Chapter Five

**A/N: The final installment. **

"I love you."

She squeezed his hand as hard as she could before frantically wiping away a few silent tears that had begun to fall. She smiled brightly before looking at him through her teary eyes and leaning into him, making sure he was comfortable with their new position.

"And I love you," she whispered into his chest, nuzzling as far into him as she could without smothering herself completely.

He chuckled loudly and circled his arms tightly around her body.

"I meant what I said though Ruth," he eventually muttered, scared that if he dared voice his concerns again it would bring an end to the wonderful turn of events.

She sighed loudly and circled her arms around his waist so they were clamped tightly together.

"You're not nobody Harry," she whispered, tenderly stroking his back with her hand. "You're somebody, somebody who everybody looks up to and respects, somebody who longs to keep this country safe from harm whatever it takes. More importantly..." she starts, before tilting her head slightly gesturing him to look at her face. He does. "You're somebody to me, and if you allow us to work through this together then you will be _my_ somebody, and that is all that matters."

Harry smiled weakly at her before drawing a shaky breath. He knew that she would understand his insecurities more than anybody, and by the way she was speaking to him he knew that it was true. He wanted to believe her words, to understand finally that it is him that she wants to be with, of all the people in the world, she has chosen to him. He wanted to, but somehow he just couldn't. Despite the letter, despite her words, her actions, her determination to see this through, the changes they had both encountered during their separation still hung in the air and Harry wasn't sure if he would be able to move past that, as much as he wanted to let go and love her completely.

"But George..." He trailed off brokenly. He didn't know why he found it so difficult to bring him up in conversation. He was the man who had won Ruth's heart, the man who had given her the life she deserved after she had to give everything up. It was the life he could never have given Ruth, and the thought that George might one day be used against him in the heat of an argument was a scary thought.

"George was somebody who was there at the right time; a companion when I needed comforting, a shoulder to cry on whilst I was mourning," Ruth explained as she rested her head against his chest once more and found the steady rhythm of his heart beat. "He's not you Harry and I know you said that scares you, but you forget that we had something way before George, before Cyprus, before this." She nodded her head in gesture of what she was trying to tell him. "If anything it was him that was worried. He'd known I'd lost someone and he wasn't sure whether he'd have been able to live up to what I left behind."

"And did he?"

The way in which Harry uttered those words shocked the both of them. Ruth couldn't remember a time when he had sounded so vulnerable or looked so afraid. He couldn't remember a time when he felt so needy or self conscious. He felt weak at that moment, something he never usually felt when he sat within the confines of his office walls. Power never went to his head when Ruth was with him.

"No," she whispered simply. "He would never have been able to live up to you. I didn't need to fall in love with you, I just did, and he can never take that away from me."

She hid her face in his chest, the familiar flush of embarrassment flooding her cheeks. She felt like a school girl talking to her first crush, and although not quite in the same age range, she was sure that Harry was the first person she had ever felt strongly for, the first person she felt she could ever do anything with.

"Just because I was with George doesn't mean I've come to expect anything from you," she eventually continued as Harry showed no sign of speaking or loosening his grip on her body. "You do believe me don't you?"

She felt rather than saw Harry nod and waited patiently, busking in their new found state of bliss.

"Ruth," Harry mumbled into her hair as he leant his head down towards hers.

"Hmm?"

"I don't want to stop you doing things that you might have wanted to do with your life."

She leant out of his embrace and adjusted herself so their bodies were close, but no longer touching.

"Like what?"

"Like getting married, having a family, buying a proper house, living a proper life. I don't want you to stay here in MI5 with me if it means you no longer get to live the life you had in Cyprus."

_So that's why he's been so quiet._

"I'm not going to lie and say I haven't thought about doing those things, I'm still young enough after all." She watched his face drop and his body tense as he tried to absorb the information. "But we've had too many things get in our way Harry; too many people try and tear this apart. I've sacrificed myself once for you, and I'm willing to sacrifice normality if it means I can finally be with you."

"I can't ask you to do that Ruth," Harry muttered as he frantically tried to control his emotions and keep his straight face intact.

"You're not asking me too, I'm telling you." She leant forward slightly and brushed an errant tear from his cheek before stroking the side of his face tenderly.

He closed his eyes briefly as he basked in the contact. He was finally allowing himself to believe that despite his fears they could work something out once and for all, and as her words began to wrap themselves around him like a blanket he began to think ahead and as he thought about what Ruth had said to him he suddenly found himself coming to a quick conclusion.

"You know, if you're really serious about all of this..." he started slowly, making sure he had her full attention before continuing. "... If you truly serious, then you know you can still do all of those things that you want to do."

"Harry..." Ruth started. She didn't like the sound of where this was going.

"No Ruth listen," he interrupted her quickly, looking at her intently until she got the message to keep quiet. "You sacrificed your life for me, there's no way I'm going to let you do that again. I'm getting close to retirement Ruth; I will sacrifice a few years here if it makes you happy. You deserve stability Ruth, and it was my fault you had to leave in the first place."

Her breath hitched as she dared herself to interpret what he was saying to her. She watched as he leant forward and grabbed her hands with his own, rubbing his thumb tenderly up and down her palm.

"What I'm saying Ruth, is that I am happy to leave my job so you can do everything you want to. If you want to be with me, I'll be a very happy man. If you want a proper home, I'll move away with you. If you want a proper job, I'll support you. If you want stability, I'll marry you. If you want a family, I can't promise much, but I'll try my hardest to give it to you."

Now it was his turn to wipe the tears from her cheeks. He smiled as she laughed slightly and circled his arms around her once more, drawing her into a tight hug.

"It's your turn to be happy," he mumbled into her hair. "God only knows how on Earth you managed to find your back to me."

She chuckled and drew her face level with his.

"It was always meant to be," she chuckled. "I am happy Harry. I am very happy."

His smile mirrored hers, and as he finally leant forward to end years of torment and frustration he knew that his life was about to change for the better.

End

**A/N: Again, I am really sad to see this one go. It's been a tough chapter to write, I hope that I've done it some justice. For those who are new to the story - this is the 2nd installment - the prequel "just another day" is available on my profile.**

**One final review for old times sake?**


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